INFJ - relationships

INFJ

Strengths: 

• Insight into relationships
• Peaceful
• Creative

Main challenge:

• Relationships can be too draining

Jung described the INFJ’s dominant mental process as visionary insight connecting them to the ancient patterns of the unconscious mind, the archetypes. By enjoying a close connection to the unconscious mind, INFJs, like INTJs, can come to deep insights about the world. While INTJs’ auxiliary process is Extraverted Thinking, making them more likely to be interested in constructing systems of ideas, the INFJ’s auxiliary process is Extraverted Feeling, making them more likely to be interested in learning about and appreciating systems of values. INFJs are interested in expressing the visions of their minds in art and creative works, and they often develop an interest in relationships and people.   

INFJs have much to offer in a romantic relationship. Because they seek deep insight, they can understand people’s emotional problems and help them heal. They also prefer being peaceful to being right, so they often excel at preventing or healing conflict. They would rather stay quiet than be misunderstood, so they aren’t likely to cause drama, and they’ll give their insightful feedback in private.

Yet relationships can be challenging for INFJs. One good INFJ friend told me that she finds the prospect of a lifelong relationship overwhelming because of the social demands involved. Being with another person for so much time would be draining and take the INFJ out of the beautiful world of their mind. Not to mention that INFJs may feel a lot of pressure to keep the peace with the people around them, which can be extremely taxing.

To keep your INFJ happy, be aware that they will need a lot of alone time. They will also need you to be understanding and let them talk slowly and express themselves. Don’t interrupt or think you know how to finish their sentences. Let them talk and truly listen to what they have to say.

For INFJs who want to find a relationship, remember that you have wonderful gifts to offer, but people raised in our extroverted world may have a hard time seeing them. Try to find opportunities to get to know people in one-on-one settings where you can talk about subjects of mutual interest. Don’t be afraid to express your affection for someone, even if you have a hard time finding the right words, because otherwise they might not pick up on it.

And if you’re in a relationship, consider your energy needs and the personality of your beloved. Are they willing to let you be yourself? Are they attentive to your emotional needs and sensitivity to conflict? A loving significant other will appreciate you for who you are and let you blossom into the person that you were meant to be.

Your Personality Type Doesn’t Determine Everything About You

While our personality type doesn’t determine everything about us, our tendencies are important factors in how we naturally conceptualize relationships, as well as what strengths and challenges we may have. Hopefully this article helps you be more sympathetic with yourself and others when you face relationship challenges. I hope it also helps you recognize that even if the extroverted world doesn’t understand you, there’s a lot that you as an introvert have to offer.